FINALE!

well.. it's that nice time of the year when school ends (for a short while at least). This is finals week, but somehow it always works out for me to have a great exam schedule. Had a couple projects/presentations/papers due last week, but only had 1 actual test and it was yesterday (Retail Marketing - NG). It's a very enjoyable week, because there hasn't been any school related obligations since Tuesday afternoon. Just hanging out and working until Friday morning (when the wisdom teeth get yanked out). We'll see how that goes.. I hear some people are fine the same day and others are down for many a day. (Either way, there could potentially be a Lord of the Rings movie extravaganza!)

Also started reading the Lord of the Rings books again. Phenomenal, masterful, epic glory! It will change your life. Got to read Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" as well. Was a quick read and a pretty intense book (grim and dark). Wanted to read it because the movie came out in November, but only in select theaters : - ( ... so i havent' seen it yet, but I'm psyched.... I don't usually read many novels, but just happened to get into them lately. Books are much cooler than I originally thought.

Face-to-Face

As of late, one of the biggest parts of my life has been to begin the process for raising a support team as I head to Street Life Ministries in NYC after graduation. This is a huge undertaking, which is a little scary, but also very exciting cause I get to hang out and talk to friends and family about things that I love. After receiving a few resources from Street Life, reading a few books, gathering some logistical info, and praying for God's continual guidance and direction throughout this time, I am now setting up face-to-face meetings/convos to share with people about what Street Life does and why God has called me to be a part of what He's doing in NYC. I was at Street Life in the summer, but I've been back at school for a little more than 3 months and it just seems so easy to forget the things that happened and the relationships that I formed while there. It's sweet when I get together with someone to share because it stirs my heart even more to remember the things that took place and the ways God moved in my heart. The more I talk about it with people, the more jacked I get about it. Everyone has been so encouraging too! People have approached me and expressed their eagerness to support and others even said they would be willing to organize and facilitate a fundraiser gathering. The support from my friends has been overwhelming. It's God's responsibility to connect with people and lead them to support, but it's my responsibility to try and humbly make my needs known and to share passionately about this amazing opportunity. God has continually proven Himself to me in many ways, one of which is the fact that He has always raised the funds I have needed for everything in my life. This may be a bigger chunk of change than at other times, but He provides much more for many more so I trust that He will fill this need with His resources from His limitless supply.

Maybe these are things that everybody does, but I feel like there are 2 things which God has specifically emphasized to me as I walk with Him through this process. One is the importance of me to be praying for those who are praying for me and who are giving serious thought, prayer, and consideration about supporting. The second is the importance of being an example of giving. As God forgives those who forgive, I believe He will also give to those who give. And to be able to give is a blessing. I hope that during this time of great need in my life I will be able to obey the Lord and cheerfully give more, not so that I can primarily receive more, though I believe that's something that results, but so that I can join Christ in meeting the needs of others, which is a tremendous joy and privilege to be a part of. I imagine it will be a challenge keeping my motives for giving pure. I've heard many testimonies about people of pure intention who gave more when they were in serious need and God totally provided. I BELIEVE THEM.

Highlighter!

haven't blogged for few weeks.. lots been goin on.

some friends talked me into getting a replacement for work and playing frisbee (though it didn't take much for them to convince me). towards the end of the frisbee sweetness i twisted my ankle pretty bad. Been a little inconvenient the past couple weeks, cause it limits the intramural vball and upcoming dodgeball, but it's ok i guess.

the ankle twist was right before the camping trip in the poconos with friends from Street Life in NYC. That was a good time. Nice to get away and enjoy the peace of the woods and each other's company. Plus I haven't ever been real camping before, so that was a nice feature.

We got a new roommate this week. He's from Saudi Arabia. He's cool. We don't see him a ton though cause I guess he's pretty busy.

Prayer nights have been goin really well. Seems the Lord is stirring a number of people's hearts to really take this chunk of time on Monday nights and commit it to Him.

halloween this weekend! not sure on the costume yet.. def. send ideas this way if they're super legit!

THE KRANQL'S

so a tradition that i somehow picked up over the past few years is that when you order food over the phone or call ahead to a restraunt to put your name in, you make up a name, because somehow it's more exciting/fun/immature... i don't know... anyway, so last night my roomies and i got the most glorious opportunity to go to BD's Mongolian Grille at The Greene (which is totally recommended if you've never been because it's possibly the greatest thing anyone will ever taste)... so knowing this we wanted to call ahead just to make sure it wasn't too crazy busy and that we could get in on a saturday night. We look up the number (which i didn't realize was already in my phone from the single time i had went before, anticipating/hoping someone would summon me to again partake in the brilliance that is BD's). I call and a young woman answers and we get to the part where she's gonna ask for our name... so i looked at my roomies and was like, "what should our name be?!?!?!".... within like 3 seconds someone was like... KRANKLE!... obviously we were dying of hilarium because that's probably the most random thing ever!... so we're laughing and trying to talk to the lady on the phone at the same time (i should have put it on speaker phone cause she was laughing too). but then she asks me how to spell it... so i'm like... K... R... then someone's like... PUT a 'Q' IN THERE!! so we can barely talk and the lady probably thinks we're crazy... it may have taken us like 30 seconds to spell this name out for her.. but we eventually got to the end.... K.. R.. A.. N.. Q.. L.. the KRANQL's!... we apologized and she's like, "just get in here before you die!"..... good times

TARGET: DAYTON

This past weekend I went with a few other people to a place just a couple minutes from our campus. It's a ministry called Target: Dayton. They provide meals for the homeless as well as hold church services for them to be spiritually encouraged and nourished. Attending and participating in the service was very enriching and allowed me to see a glimpse of God's heart, which cares so deeply for the poor and oppressed. It was such an amazing thing to witness people who had so little express such a dependence on the Lord. They were excited and thankful to spend time with their Maker. God really showed Himself as a God who instills HOPE in the hearts of His people!

"I know and rest in confidence that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will secure justice for the poor and needy." Psalm 140:12

RAP BATTLE!

Last night was probably one of the sweetest/funniest things I've ever experienced. A couple of our friends put together a Freestyle Rap Battle thing (or somethin like that) at a cafe on campus. Peeps from all over campus came to watch and take part in this Slam Jam. Playas like Will the Thrill, Night John, and Sweet Pea. Def. one of the most legit and entertaining things I've ever seen! The only interesting/hilarious problem is that now I'm trying to rhyme everything that I'm saying and thinking.

Your Grace

It’s truly undeserved. There’s nothing I’ve ever done or will do that could possibly pay You back or equalize what You’ve done for me and what you continue to do for and to me every day. You pour out favor on my life so freely and abundantly. You won’t deny me grace. Grace and mercy that I absolutely need. No you won’t deny me if I can somehow approach You respectfully and humbly, surrendering my whole self and acknowledging Your sole authority to forgive. Not that Your grace is conditional necessarily, but that there are certain things You desire of me. Would You teach me to be as You desire? And knowing that you won’t deny me, how can I keep from taking advantage of Your limitless grace? That it wouldn’t lose its meaning or weight because of how constant it is. Or how do I always approach You humbly if I know You always forgive? That I would never think You always forgive me because of how hard I’m trying or doing, but because of who You are. That Your grace would never become dull or unexciting or undesired in my life. Might the fact that You don’t resent creating me not deceive me and cause me to grow prideful. That my attitude and lifestyle would not make a mockery or shallow thing of Your life-giving grace. My mind doesn’t really know how or why You do it, but my heart knows that Your grace refreshes me!

THE NEW YEAR!

Every year, Street Life Ministries does a New Years Eve Outreach in New York City. It is very exciting to report that there will be a group from the Univ. of Dayton going to serve in NYC this year! (Dec. 28-Jan. 1). There's gonna be 5 or 6 of us I think. During this outreach we'll have opportunities to serve food and clothes to the homeless as well as share the love of Christ and pray with people on the streets!

I am especially excited, because some of my friends are so willing and open to serve the Lord and they'll get to see specifically what they've been pouring into as they've supported me in this ministry! I can't wait to experience God with them during this special time. It will also be sweet to see the staff/friends at Street Life again. : - ) Definitely miss them.

This opportunity presents a new but exciting challenge in my life as I've always been a part of teams and never really had to facilitate or lead one.

Please pray for us as much preparation is needed to get in the right mindset for what we'll be participating in as well as prayer for the needy and lost people of the city!

GOD IS ALIVE!

transition

it's been a pretty intense transition going from NYC back to school at Dayton, but also pretty fun. Lots of logistical and misc. things to get in order like scheduling, work, financial aid and documents,.. all that good stuff.

Have gotten some sweet time to see friends and family as well as share a lot about the summer, so that's def. been a nice feature! (and it's only the beginning, school hasn't even started yet). Also has been exciting lookin towards the upcoming year and all the exciting things that God is gonna do. Many other people also did some ministry over the summer so it's been awesome to hear about their crazy summers and stories too!

goin back to Wooster, OH (Aug. 30th) to share at the homechurch about the summer and upcoming.. please pray for me.

thanks. love
riles

2-Part summer

I leave Saturday, Aug. 8th, from Street Life in NYC to go back home to Ohio and make the quick transition to start work & school again. It's been a phenomenal summer, though it's not over yet! : - ).

As I was thinking about the past 2 months and all that God has been doing in and through me, I could sort of seperate the summer into two parts. The first half of the summer was definitely focused on ministering on the streets and getting a little bit acquainted with how things work here at Street Life. There were many Lord-orchestrated & memorable conversations as well as people that I will continue to pray for. It was very enriching and I am incredibly thankful for the constant ways that the Lord proved Himself.

The second half of the summer is a bit more personal. While the time on the streets has been great, the Lord seems to be doing a work in my own heart that's been a long time coming. He's been instilling in me a deeper hunger to really study His word, to worship, and to pray (very exciting features of walkin with the Lord). It's been so revitalizing, but God's also been revealing the pride of my heart to me. The hidden jealousy and resentment, irrational rage even. That I am not nearly as patient or as kind as I would like to believe that I am. Even if I don't show it on the outside, that my attitude can be just as sinful and grieving to His heart as my actions are. And how I try to constantly "do" so many things for the Lord. Last night it was said that there's no time quota that will impress Him. I need to choose quality over quantity when it comes to spending time with Christ. I need to rest in His presence, not rush. I need to slow down, to really soak in and meditate on the truth and beauty of the Lord. To learn the discipline of silence and really listen to Him. Not to just spill my heart to Him and give Him no time to respond, but to practice hearing His voice and waiting and watching Him.

So it's been kind of a heavy time, but also a very hopeful and enjoyable time because I know that Christ is dealing with and healing things in me that have been ruling in my heart for quite some time. I love the Lord and His revelation and discipline are tough to receive sometimes, but I know that He purifies and prunes me for my own good and to better please and honor Him.

Intercession for the President

was privileged to partake and engage in a 2-hour worship and intercession time tonight. The majority of that time was spent praying and interceding for the White House and President Barack Obama. We prayed that God's mercy would be shown to all those who have exploited and misled the nation. That the President, his family, and the entire White House would be consumed with the fear of the Lord, following God's desires for truth and life to restore this country. That the weight of the Spirit of God would be so heavy on them they would fall to their knees in humility and not be able to get up until they have fully surrendered their God-given positions of authority to His divine leading.

At such a pinnacle time in our nation's history and such a desperate time for so many Americans would Satan not be attacking and scheming to influence our leaders now more than ever? Our prayers release God's hand to bless and to break the forces of darkness deceiving and pressuring our nation's leaders. They need wisdom and protection. We must pray.

BRAZIL - THE CHURCH

We had only been in Brazil a few days when our team led a worship night at the church we were staying at. Many people of all ages attended. The music team opened up with a couple songs and I did a few minutes of video recording for one of the guys. God made it evident from the very beginning that He was doing something special in that place. It took a few songs to get focused, but pretty soon the Spirit broke loose and we were dancing in the aisles and waging war for our friends and family who don't know the Lord. It was so radically liberating to be able to worship and shout and dance so freely before the LIVING GOD!

Our team was then called forward to pray with anyone who wanted prayer. Many people came forward to receive healing and blessing. There was only a few translators, but it didn't matter cause the presence of God was so tangible and manifest. It's indescribable how Christ breaks down the barrier of language and ministers so directly to us. Some were weeping before the Lord, others were bursting out in new song and still others simply fell to their face in humility before Him.

When the amount of people coming forward started to slow down I searched the crowd with my eyes to see if there was somebody that God would have me pray for. As I looked back and forth the Lord kept drawing my attention to one man. At first I didn't approach him, but God quickly convicted me and I went to the man. His name was Guilherme. He didn't speak English, but as I started to sing songs of prayer over him the Lord broke him and he began to weep and cry out to the Lord. Together Guilherme and I raised our hands in gratefulness to Jesus for being HOPE and breathing His life into us.

BRAZIL - TONY

Tony was a man we met one of the nights we were doing ministry in front of the brothel. He was an older man, probably in his 50’s, and dressed fairly nice. He was well-known in his hometown so he traveled 5 hours that morning to spend the day at the brothel in Belo Horizonte. Tony heard the worship in the streets and was compelled to come down out of the brothel. God touched his heart as we listened to him repent of specific sins and plead for God’s help. He expressed his desire to worship in the streets like our team was doing. “I know I can never come back to this place,” he said. Tony experienced the forgiveness of God like never before. Tony was one man on one night. Many others got to experience the miracle of a changed life continually throughout the trip.

Please continue to pray for Tony. The enemy knows he has committed his life to the Lord and will come after him more than ever.

BRAZIL!

Just got back Tuesday morning from a 2 week outreach in Brazil with Street Life. It was extreme! Took like an 8 hr. flight from JFK to Sao Paulo. EPIC FLIGHT! Then a quick flight from Sao Paulo to Belo Horizonte where we were for most of the outreach.

We traveled to different places doing ministry in the streets. The team would worship, do dramas, share testimonies and messages and then spend time talking and praying with people. It was incredible to be able to witness many people being transformed, healed and delivered out of their destructive lifestyles. To hear people repent their sins out loud and invite Christ into their lives was so beautiful.

The Lord was doing some tremendous work in my heart as well! He was revealing to me specific things about my life and how I need to walk in much more integrity for my last year of college. How this summer is a lot of preparation and that this coming year is the real mission trip and test (at school)! One verse that God put on my heart was Colossians 3:2. “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” To always keep focusing and pressing on through exhaustion or distraction.

People in Brazil are much more open and receptive to the Gospel than people in New York or America. The Brazilians were hungry and willing to be prayed for, to dance with us in the streets and to be broken before the Lord no matter who else was around. They allowed God to do things in their lives that He’s wanted to do for a long time. God wants to constantly refine and heal us all, but if we don’t surrender and allow Him to work freely in and through us we’ll be stuck in the same spot until we allow Him full access to our hearts.

My favorite part of the trip was the ministry in front of the brothel (prostitute house). Men were coming in and out continuously. The spiritual warfare was so intense in that dark place. But the glory and light of God broke through and many were renewed and cleansed right then and there. Some of the girls on the team went inside the brothel to invite the prostitutes to a luncheon where we had the opportunity to serve and share with them. It was a powerful time as they rarely get
treated like real ladies.

The drama (Puppet-Master) went really well. Many people were impacted by the reality of what was being portrayed and could relate to the struggles of the girl (who represented creation) in the drama. I’ve always loved drama as a powerful part of ministry and hope that the Lord will allow me to be a part of it again in the future.

When we had a day off (woo!) we got to go to our translator’s house (or estate, rather) for some rest, swimming, volleyball and cooking out!

The last day of the trip we had what is referred to as “The Love Feast”. We ate at a sweet restaurant with tons of meat! They bring the meat out on big swords and slice it off right in front of you. Indescribable really.

God answered so many prayers throughout this trip, some almost instantly, some from a while back and some still to be answered!

Overall, it was a phenomenal trip. So much fun and growth and experiencing the Lord in a radical way and sowing seeds and being a part of the Lord’s harvest that others have been watering for many years.

I can’t thank you enough for your prayer support, encouragement and financial support. I remember some of the things that happened on the trip and I think, “I bet someone back home was praying for this!” And I know it’s true. I can’t wait to share and hear people say, “Yes! I prayed for that!” And God will again be proven TRUE and MIGHTY!

Please call or write me if you would like to get together or talk more about the trip. There’s a lot to say that I couldn’t possibly fit in this short summary. I would love to share with you!

There are some more pictures of the outreach on facebook if you’re interested in checking those out.

love, peace,
obrigado (thanks)
riles

goin to Brazil

Headin to Brazil today for 2 weeks. Will be serving and sharing with the people in Belo Horizonte. Doin ministry in the streets and outside the brothels. Please pray for this outreach. That people would be delivered from their damaging lifestyles and restored by the life that is Christ.

'Sharing and Caring'

Met a man at Tompkins Square Park today who introduced himself as 'Sharing & Caring'. He was very poor but so joyful and kind. He talked about how God gave him a desire to write poetry and he even wrote a poem for me. Please pray for this man. He faces more struggles than most of us ever will. The picture above is one of the poems he wrote about the homeless.

rundown/up & coming - June 15, 2009

Just finished the second full week here at Street Life and it's been great. Most of the stuff we do around here is about as new to me as it is to the teams coming in. The two teams we had last week were energized and willing and it was encouraging to hang with them. One team was even from Ohio and close to where I go to school at UD. Small world indeed.

My roomate let me borrow the book, "The Shack", and I just finished it (apparently everyone's read it except for me). It's one of the few books I've actually read in a long time, but it was very good. Definitely poses some interesting and refreshing images of God. It lays out specific insight and answers about God pertaining to some big-time questions that most of us have. Anyway, it was pretty powerhouse!


The outreach to Brazil is coming up soon! We leave next Wednesday (June 24 - July 7). We're all pretty jacked! I'm also very excited because the team has been practicing a drama that we'll perform on the streets called "Puppet-Master". It shows the battle between Jesus and Satan for control of our lives. Please pray for this trip. That people would see God's heart for them and turn to Him for LIFE!

Continuing to have interesting, nourishing, and Lord-orchestrated encounters on the streets. Spoke with an Asian man for about a 1/2 hour and he poured out his appreciation for the ministry and work the Lord was doing there as well as his desire to get involved in the King's work. Also got to hang out with Bob for a while and have a cup of soup with him (though he had about 4). Bob has been homeless for 2 years and has a soft heart, but like many, he's very discouraged and needs the true hope of Christ. We got to pray together. I hope I see him again.

Thank you to everyone who's interceding and protecting and blessing me and this ministry through your prayers and support.

on the streets

been getting to spend some good time on the streets this past week… getting to hear from the lost and homeless as well as share some things with them, pray with them, and be prayed for by brothers and sisters in the Lord who are passing by. During a prayer station outreach in Queens I got to talk a long time with a man from India who’s teaching in seminary over there. It was cool to hear some of his stories about what God is doin in that part of the world. He urged me many times during our conversation to PRAY FOR INDIA. We prayed together and we might meet up sometime to talk more since he'll be in the states for a while.

Also got to hear part of our team leader’s story about their response and presence at Ground Zero right after 9/11. It was so intense to hear it from someone who was actually there when it happened and their experiences during that time prove the Lord’s sovereignty and favor.

NYC - first couple days

got here to Street Life on friday, May 29. had a day or two to get settled (unpack, get groceries, etc.) The staff is so welcoming. they even made a sign for my room when i moved in.. : - ). i've only been here a few days and it already feels like home. get to be semi-roomies with a legit guy who has already poured some of his insight from the Lord into my life.

the first team of the summer arrived today to stay with Street Life for the week and do ministry. We're gonna be doin some service for Street Life tomorrow and then we're goin to a park to minister and hang out with the homeless as well as others.

some sisters preached tonight about Christ's humility and our urgent call to serve humbly. Also about God's compassion for the afflicted, the broken and the poor. how we need to embrace that same compassion for people and be the light of Christ to them.

God is continually affirming that this is where i'm supposed to be this summer. Am praying hard for what the Lord would have me do after I finish my last year of college.

Pre-NYC: May 25

hangin out in my hometown, Wooster, OH this week before I leave for NYC to stay with Street Life Ministries this summer. thought i was gonna leave a couple weeks ago, but the date got pushed back. was excited to go, but God has totally used these past 3 or 4 weeks to bring restoration and preparation. my roomie's drivin me to NYC on friday. will def. be an epic road trip. should get there on friday and will probably have a day or two to get settled and then it's right into the action. headin into the streets to listen to people, encourage and provide for them, share with and pray with them. it's going to be a powerhouse transforming time for all involved. the staff at Street Life has some serious intensity and fire for the Lord. i'm hoping to learn a lot from their obedience and can't wait to experience the amazing gifts God has graced them with. the outreach trip to brazil is from june 24 - july 7. there will be live worship and testimonies and dancing for the Lord in the streets. am prayin that this summer will be a good indicator of whether or not Christ might be callin me to full time ministry at Street Life or anywhere else or not.

thank you everyone who is praying! God's using you to make this happen! please continue to pray.
thank you everyone who donated shoes and clothes and bibles! people will be touched and people will experience Christ's love!
thank you everyone who provided financial support! you are the senders!

SEALED

Was at a prayer gathering this weekend. 20-30 people circled up in a living room in a house off-campus. After hearing an epic, powerhouse and real story about a Muslim who turned to Christ and was stoned to death by her own family people began to cry prayers out to the Lord. When we had been praying for a while, a woman spoke up and invited anyone who hadn’t fully trusted their future and life to Christ to surrender to Him… that this was that moment… that this was the night. Nothing happened right then so we continued praying. A few minutes passed and then a girl stood up in the room. She said something along the lines of… I’m that girl. I’ve never fully accepted Christ, but now I think I’m ready. She sat down in the middle of the room and many laid hands on her. She herself proclaimed out loud that God is GOOD! That she trusts her life to Christ and that she never wants to stop saying His name until death.

She was flooded with prayers and encouragement from excited believers in the room. It was powerful to see the Lord bring a high school girl to her knees and confess in front of many strangers that she accepts His grace!

There’s no goin back for her. She is changed forever! God’s spirit LIVES in her!
He is true! He is transforming! He is life-giving!
Thank you God for saving this girl!
Her eternity is sealed forever!

So Simple?

“live simply so others can simply live”

That’s what my friend quoted to me a few weeks ago. What does that even mean? Well, I don’t know, but it’s been weighin heavy on my heart, that’s for sure! Mondo convicting.

I wonder how much money I’ve spent on pizza? 12 dollar trips to Bdubs once a week or more. Games bought, played for a week and then traded back in. Movies or entire seasons of TV shows that I’ve only watched once, or never. Some of these things are enjoyable, but they’re only a temporary fix. None of them provide lasting satisfaction. And in the case of food I usually don’t feel too great after because it’s usually unhealthy food (double whamster). Not that it’s wrong to enjoy these things sometimes (I think… ?), but the amount and how often I indulge in all these things is far too extravagant and beyond reasonable. Is it all worth it? I don’t think so, but it’s definitely hard to break free of it all.

Could all that this money is used for go instead to sharing a meal with a homeless person, buying someone else a gift or taking care of a friend’s need? Not that I fully do these things, but I imagine these kinds of things to be truly life-giving for all involved.

Am I scheduling my day to include excessive time for movies and games or am I leaving it open so that I can more readily say yes to my roommate when he asks for a ride to the car repair shop? Or yes to a last minute intramural volleyball game? Am I blocking someone from initiating an urgent or deep conversation if I’m completely immersed in a game or movie they would feel bad interrupting? Am I really too busy to talk to my parents on the phone when all they want is their son’s time? Why haven’t I done something with all the clothes I don’t wear?

Lots of seemingly simple questions that don’t all have simple answers I think. It’s a sacrifice to live simply so others can simply live (least it seems that way when I'm so used to having and doing more). But I imagine the overwhelming freedom that will be experienced when I really begin to live simply for Him. Seems that it would be giving up so much, but how much more will be gained?

Trust

How do I believe the truths of God, when on the surface they don’t seem to make any sense?

How do I believe that God allows me to make every decision for myself, even though he knows exactly what I’m going to choose? That Christ’s words were not fabricated by man? How do I believe the seemingly contradictory statement that if I accept and follow Him then I am a “freed slave” of Christ? How do I come to the belief that evolution is not opposed to religion, but perhaps a part of God’s plan for the development of creation? That God is with me when I hurt a friend, fail a test, or experience pain and loneliness? How do I believe I will go to heaven when no one has seen it?

There is no way to prove or gain absolute certainty on any of these things. There is “evidence” that supports both sides, but no argument can guarantee one or the other.

Trust.

Trusting God is the only solution. Without trust I am doomed to live a meaningless, confusing and worrying life. I don’t understand or trust everything about God or entrust everything of myself to Him, but I hope to do a lot more of both. When I try to trust the Lord about something that seems crazy or impossible to me, He begins to reveal the mystery that at first seemed so contradictory. And it’s not really an instantaneous clarity. Over time God shapes my views according to His true perspective (not my perspective or some scholar’s perspective or the world’s perspective, but His).

Trusting is a lifelong battle, but without trust I’m plagued by uncertainty, anxiety and wonderment. What good does that do? Sometimes things just don’t make sense, but “following Christ is not a life of reason and understanding. It’s a life or faith and trust” (O. Chambers).

THANK YOU!

Some people might think that Jesus is unnecessary, ridiculous, “not for them”, or whatever, but I know that my life is not the same and it never will be. I am changed forever. No matter what anyone else thinks or knows, I KNOW how I used to be and how I am NOW. I may not be doing a good job if others don’t see a genuine and lasting difference, but I KNOW there’s a deep, inner, essential difference. A transformation in the primary essence of who I am. A turning around of the things I long for and the things that I live for. I thought I had everyone fooled, but God was not tricked, nor can He be. He saw the hatred I had for some people, the lust, the selfishness and manipulation. You might have thought I was a good kid or that I had most of it together if you knew me before I knew Christ. But I was living a lie. True freedom came when I accepted Christ into my heart. I truly believe that He is the savior of me as well as every person I know and love and every person I’ve never known or loved. But what does He save me from? He saves me from a meaningless, empty life. A confusing, worrisome, and selfish existence. He saves me from myself and all the harm that I can cause to myself and others when I’m not seeking His face. He saves me from eternal separation from Himself and there IS an eternity waiting.

No more do I attempt to live for myself, for the future, or for nothing. I desire to strive with all that I am to live for Him. My hope, purpose, and mission are all found in the absolute actions of Christ on the cross and God’s raising Him from death. There is no possible way for me to deny His existence or His presence in my life. No way to deny His great orchestration from the very greatest of my circumstances to the very least. The very toughest times to the most enjoyable. There is no way that He isn’t real. He’s the sovereign God of the entire universe, knitting together every fiber of my entire being before I even existed.

I definitely still mess up/sin/falter… whatever you want to call it. I still need to be immensely corrected, sensitized, broken, forgiven, softened, helped, encouraged, challenged, taught. But it’s a lifelong journey. And He’ll be refining me for His glory for the rest of my life. Even when I turn away from Him, when I deliberately disobey and rebel against Him, when I lose hope and give up on Him… Not for one second did, does, or will He ever stop pursuing me or give up on me. It’s extremely tempting to immerse myself in my previous ways and I’ll struggle for sure, but I’ve gotten a taste of His love and mercy and it’s unforgettable!

Thank God for making Himself known to me NOW rather than later! Where would I be at this moment if He hadn’t rescued me?